CINNAMON FROSTED FLAKES

This is the first cereal I've ever reviewed for Irresponsible Calories.  That's because most new cereals are re-worked versions of existing cereals promoted as temporary tie-ins to movies (Batman V Superman, Frozen, Star Wars, etc.).  Or they are chocolate-flavored cereals which I have serious religious and moral objections against reviewing.  Well, that's not actually true...I just have never enjoyed chocolate cereals.  Whenever I bought those small multi-cereal packs, for example, I left the Cocoa Krispies for last.  So, when it comes to reviewing Chocolate Lucky Charms, it's just not going to happen.

Cinnamon, however, is one of my favorite flavors, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch is one of my Top 10 favorite cereals.  (Cinnamon Chex and Cinnamon Life aren't far behind).  So, I was interested in trying a new cinnamon version of an old classic.  In hindsight, I probably should have left it well enough alone...and so should have Kellogg's.

Just in case you've been living in a cave since 1952, Frosted Flakes is a thin corn flake cereal topped with sugar.  I happen to like it, despite the fact that it seems to get soggy in milk faster than most any other cereal I've ever eaten.  But unfortunately, that description--a "thin corn flake"--is exactly why a cinnamon version doesn't work.  

Checking the ingredients list, Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a combination of wheat and rice, whereas Cinnamon Life is an oat cereal, Cinnamon Chex is a rice cereal and Cinnamon Streusel Mini-Wheats speak for themselves.  I never considered that there might be a good reason that all of these other cereals avoided using corn flakes.  As with Cheetos Sweetos...which took the corn meal of a Cheetos puff and covered it in cinnamon and sugar...Cinnamon Frosted Flake's combination of corn and cinnamon has an odd taste.  Add to that the fact that the thin flakes get soggy too quickly, and you have a cereal that is just too insubstantial to support the cinnamon flavor.

RATING:   2/5
  

STRAWBERRY HOSTESS TWINKIES

With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, this might be the last "limited edition" snack food I review that has a tie-in to the Christian liturgical feast honoring martyred saints.

But just as modern Valentine's Day has pretty much no link to the Roman priest who died in 269 AD, Strawberry Twinkies pretty much have no link to Valentine's Day...except for the hearts all over the box.  There is no reason that these can't be produced alongside Twinkies with banana or chocolate "creamy filling" throughout the year.  In fact, one of my favorite desserts is fresh strawberries atop a layer of vanilla ice cream atop a sponge cake (i.e. Twinkies without the filling) dessert cup...and I can enjoy it any time that strawberries are in season.

Unfortunately, this tastes nothing like that.

Without a chocolate-strawberry or chocolate-raspberry combination of similar Valentine's-themed snacks, these Twinkies are nothing special.  Which is fine, I suppose, if you were craving a standard Twinkie.  But, in my opinion, the entire point of special flavors is to...I don't know...create something special.  Or at the very least, something unusual.  These Strawberry Twinkies are neither.  Instead, they are the essence of bland.  The Chris O'Donnell or Sam Worthington of desserts.  Not bad, but completely forgettable afterwards.

RATING:    3/5

CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY OREOS

Just in time for Valentine's Day, here's another chocolate strawberry flavored snack for those of us who are too broke to afford real strawberries dipped in chocolate.  (Or for those of us who might find ourselves alone on Valentine's Day, seeking to drown our sorrows in sugary foods, which contribute to obesity, thus negatively affecting our self-esteem, and possibly sabotaging our search for love...and so the downward spiral continues.)

Not to be confused with Strawberry Cream Oreos, Chocolate Strawberry Oreos have a center which is predominantly chocolate with just a dab of artificial strawberry.  At first, I thought that was an odd choice, as the Oreo cookie itself is already chocolate flavored.  But if the entire center had been strawberry...well, they've already done that.  This time, the result is definitely more chocolate than strawberry, and in this case, that's a good thing!  Franken Berry cereal notwithstanding, artificial strawberry flavor can be quite overwhelming.  In the case of these cookies, Nabisco gave me just enough strawberry to pair with the chocolate, and just enough chocolate creme to sweeten the dark cookie.

Personally, I'm still not a fan of the chocolate sandwich part of the cookie (preferring golden Oreos), but as long as I need to eat one, I'll take the chocolate strawberry center over the plain creme center any day.  After some truly horrible combinations...Swedish Fish, anyone?...it's good to see that Nabisco has brought us a simple, delicious cookie once again.

RATING:  4/5

DARK CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY CUPCAKES

As certain as the sun rises in the East, the "pumpkin spice" of October and "peppermint" of December give way to "dark chocolate raspberry" every February.  Apparently, that's now become the official flavor of Valentine's Day...even though I think that's just as unimaginative as associating "mint" with St. Patrick's Day just because it is green.  (By that same criteria, peanut butter will eventually become the official flavor of Thanksgiving.)

In any event, a slew of dark chocolate raspberry and/or chocolate snacks are coming your way.  So, I guess I had better put down my Ghirardelli dark chocolates and glass of red wine to let my taste buds go slumming for your benefit.  (You're welcome!)

Let me break it down for you: this cupcake promises dark chocolate and raspberry.  I probably should have purchased a box of the regular chocolate cupcakes just to be sure, but I don't think Hostess simply used the existing recipe as I would have suspected.  I actually believe that the cake consists of a darker chocolate than their usual version, even if they look almost the same.  But let's be honest--trying to compare the "chocolateness" of Hostess cupcakes is not even close to the same level as comparing a 60% cacao artisan candy bar with a 80% cacao artisan candy bar.  At best, I can just say that it seems more dark "chocolatey" than usual, okay?

Now let's move onto the cream filling*, which is the most important part of this cupcake.  Sadly, here's where Hostess falls short.  There is raspberry flavor to be found...real raspberries, per the list of ingredients...and the taste is distinctive from the usual strawberry, blueberry, boysenberry (the official flavor of Boxing Day?) or generic berry flavors.  That said, there just wasn't enough of it.  This seems to be the Achilles' heel of most of the limited edition Hostess snack foods I've tried lately.  Whatever flavor they are going for, they seem to be holding back.  Now, perhaps I'd hate this cupcake if the raspberry taste was too strong, but personally I'd prefer that they go "all-in."

Instead, this is another ho-hum snack.  It's slightly more chocolatey than the usual chocolate Hostess cupcake with a hint of raspberries in the filling.  Not bad, but not great either--just another example of junk food mediocrity.

RATING:   3/5


* The box description is actually "artificially flavored creamy filling," which means that the filling has as much to do with milk and cream as Apple Jacks has to do with apples.  Or jacks...