RED VELVET KIT KAT

Kit Kats are the most popular candy treats in Japan...apparently because the name approximates "kitto katsu," which is an expression meaning "good luck."  Maybe that is why you'll find more varieties of Kit Kat candy in Japan than anywhere else, including flavors such as baked potato, soy bean, brandy and orange, pumpkin, and apple vinegar.

Kit Kats are not quite as popular in the US.  Our #1 candy is the Reese's Peanut Butter cup, which approximates "pinattsubatakappu" in Japan, which is an expression meaning "your chocolate is in my peanut butter!"  (I'm guessing, here)  Perhaps that is why we rarely see so many unusual flavors on our shores.  Now, I'm not asking for any bean or tea Kit Kats to make a US debut any time soon, but what about something more ordinary, such as maple or pineapple?  Instead, we've been stuck with chocolate, dark chocolate and white chocolate...with only an occasional limited-time variant such as strawberry or orange.

I was therefore surprised to see this new Red Velvet flavor, which appears to only be found in the miniatures and not the full-sized bars.  Upon first glance, however, there is nothing "red velvet" about it.  Certainly there is no red coloring, and the texture is that of a regular Kit Kat wafer covered with chocolate--nothing cake like at all.  Now, as a red velvet cake is nothing more than chocolate cake colored with red food coloring and topped with a cream cheese frosting, and as a regular Kit Kat is already chocolate flavored, did they really need this?

I asked for help on this one from two people: Jake, my co-worker and junk food padawan, and my father--one of the few people I know who will actually take a bite of something after I say "Eww!  This tastes awful!  Try this!"  Neither Jake nor my Dad were able to identify the supposed flavor of this Kit Kat from smell or sight alone.  Both agreed that it had a definite strong sweet smell, but thought it tasted more along the lines of a birthday cake.  When I revealed that it was supposed to be Red Velvet, both thought they might sense a faint cream cheese flavor...as I thought I did...but it is hard to say if that flavor is actually there, or our brains are just fooling us after we already know what it is supposed to be.  (Sort of like reading the answer on the back of the Trivial Pursuit card before claiming that was what you were going to say.)

So, here you have a sweet-smelling, vanilla birthday cake-tasting Kit Kat bar that may or may not slightly remind you of cream cheese.  While it tastes fine, it certainly didn't taste like a Red Velvet cake to any of us.  If you are buying it based solely on that premise, you might be disappointed.  If, on the other hand, you are buying it because you want to try weird new Kit Kat flavors, you might be better off exporting one of the 200+ varieties only sold in Japan.

RATING:    3 / 5  

HOT & SPICY CINNAMON OREOS

Here's the second of the two new Limited Edition Oreos (which I am glad to be done with...so that I can get back to those Hershey Gold candy bars).

I'm not sure that the phrase "It's not as bad as I feared it would be" makes for good advertising.  Certainly Nabisco won't be contacting me for permission to use this as a catchphrase on the packaging.  But, overall, that's the way I felt about these cookies.

I am a fan of chocolate combined with a lot of things--peanut butter, strawberries, caramel, macadamia nuts, almonds and even pretzels.  I can assure you that it never even crossed my mind to combine chocolate with cinnamon, however.  I'm not sure what the Oreo lab tech was thinking in this case, but obviously she's the sort of person who isn't afraid to try odd combinations...perhaps even Milk Duds in her popcorn (like my wife).

I do love cinnamon, however, so I wasn't afraid to give this cookie a try.  Unfortunately, although the packaging clearly has red hot candies in the design, there is no crunch involved.  Neither is the cinnamon flavor creme "hot & spicy," although it is definitely stronger than the flavor of the Cinnamon Bun Oreo.  I think the problem is that the cinnamon flavor is cancelled out by the chocolate cookie (which, you should know by now, I am not a big fan of).  The good news, I suppose, is that the flavor pairing isn't as bad as I feared.  But it's still not very good.  It basically tastes like someone slapped a stick of Big Red on an Oreo (a quote from my co-worker Jake, which I wish I could take credit for).

I am grateful, however, that these two latest cookies--Chocolate Hazelnut and Hot & Spicy Cinnamon--finally answered an age-old question about Oreos.  Which is preferable: a creme flavor you like in a cookie you don't, or a cookie you like filled with a creme flavor you don't?  In my case, it was definitely the latter.  Even though I'm a fan of cinnamon, I think it works much better in a graham-flavored cookie rather than the traditional chocolate Oreo cookie.  And even though I'm not a fan of hazelnut, I would eat that one if I was forced to choose between the two.  On the other hand, if I did have a choice, I wouldn't bother with any of them.  Save your irresponsible calories for something better!

RATING:  2 / 5

CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT OREOS

I was able to put down the Hershey Gold bars just long enough to try out two new limited edition Oreo flavors...and I really wish I hadn't.  First up is the cookie I thought I would enjoy the most, as it is comes in the yellow cookie I prefer.

In my past life as a video game reviewer, I always felt that the middle-of-the-road games were the hardest to write about.  If a game was amazing, I could wax eloquent.  If a game was absolute garbage, I could get a lot of mileage out of criticizing it.  But when a game was just average, there wasn't much to write about.  Well, this cookie is the poster child for a middle-of-the-road review.

Just in case the label-less jar on the package didn't clue you in, this Oreo cookie flavor is inspired by Nutella.  And just in case you've never tried Nutella, it was created in Italy during WWII to combat a cocoa bean shortage by blending chocolate with hazelnuts.  The modern version, despite often being depicted as a breakfast spread, is composed primarily of sugar and palm oil, with about 13% hazelnuts and even less cocoa powder.  In that sense, it is a great fit for an Oreo cookie, which likewise has sugar as its main ingredient as well as more oils than cocoa.

So, what's the problem?  Well, for starters, I'm not much of a Nutella fan.  (Those of you who are will probably love these cookies.)  But even if I were, I cannot get past the following chain of thought: "Nutella was invented because they didn't have enough chocolate.  We have enough chocolate.  Ergo, there is no need for Nutella."  In other words, with all of the chocolate creme versions of Oreos that are already currently available, why not just go with one of those instead?  Unless, of course, somehow there were health benefits to the Nutella version...which there aren't.  It's just as bad for you!  This isn't a Vegemite Oreo, after all!  (Oh, I really hope I haven't given Nabisco any ideas...)

RATING:  3 / 5