PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY M&M's

It wasn't until I became an adult that I realized many people ate a different type of peanut butter and jelly sandwich than I did growing up as a child. In our family, grape was the preferred flavor of jelly. In fact, I cannot remember ever eating a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich as a child...although I may have had peanut butter and honey (especially on crackers) on more than one occasion. I do remember that Welch's grape jelly came in glass jars that frequently had cartoon characters imprinted on the side, and that we used these as drink glasses for years afterwards...until Archie, Betty and Veronica had faded away from countless dishwashing. But I digress...

I'll have to confirm with my own kids, now adults, but something tells me that I passed on the family tradition by making them peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches as well. At the time, Smucker's Uncrustables...which are crust-less sandwiches found in the freezer aisle...didn't even exist. They didn't exist when I was a kid either, but it would have been interesting to have had access to both strawberry and grape sandwiches depending upon the mood. Uncrustables keep both camps happy; M&M's, on the other hand, does not. Or does it?

From the color of the wrapper, tan and red, you might assume that these candies are strawberry flavored. I wish I could tell you that you are right...or wrong...but that's the problem. I have no idea! There is a peanut butter flavor, albeit nowhere near as strong as the peanut butter M&M's and lacking the crunch of peanut M&M's, but it is paired with an ambiguous sweetness. I thought if I dissected these things I'd be able to tell what it was but there is nothing visible other than the shell, the chocolate and the peanut butter inside. I'm guessing the flavor might be in the chocolate, rather than the peanut butter, but I honestly couldn't make that determination either!

If these candies tasted good I would have simply shrugged and continue eating them. After all, there are plenty of other things in life which I enjoy even though I don't understand exactly how they work: OLED displays, trying to move an image inside of a Word document without messing up the formatting, carburetors, etc. But I did not enjoy these at all! The peanut butter flavor was too subdued, and whether the "jelly" flavor was supposed to approximate strawberry or grape, it tastes like neither. These M&M's left me with an unpleasant aftertaste and made me wonder if, like peanut butter and "whatever" jelly sandwiches, maybe I've outgrown M&M's as an adult. 

Nah...

RATING: 2 / 5

BUTTERBEER: HERSHEY KISSES AND SKINNY POP POPCORN

 

I'm not sure why a bevvy of Harry Potter-themed junk food appeared in stores last month as there was nothing else tied in with it. The last book was published 18 years ago. The last film was released almost 14 years ago. "Cursed Child" opened in London 9 years ago and the HBO television series won't be out for another year. Maybe J.K. Rowling needed to renovate her estate or something?

Before I share my opinion on two of these snacks, I must admit up front that I've always hated the name "butterbeer." At least ginger ale and root beer originally involved fermentation, even though the modern versions have no alcohol. But we've already got a word to describe this same flavor--Butterscotch! Which has nothing to do with Scotch, by the way, but may have derived from "scortch" as a reference to boiling the brown sugar and butter together. Caramel, on the other hand, is made from white (not brown) sugar. And Butter Rum Life Savers, which taste like butterscotch but with a hint of rum flavor, were introduced in 1938 to mimic hot buttered rum without the alcohol...or the hot. (I should call this section "The More You Know..." but that name is already taken, and I don't think you really want to know more about anything I review in this blog or you wouldn't dare eat any of it!)   

 

In summary, Butterbeer is a made-up name that has nothing to do with beer describing a taste that has nothing to do with Scotch...but, dang, I do love it!

HERSHEY KISSES

I'll start with the Hershey's Kisses first. I still haven't quite recovered from all the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Kisses I ate last month (which I rated a "5") but now here comes a second "5" in a row! As with those other Kisses, no chocolate is involved. These candies are described as "gold colored creme filled with butterbeer flavored creme"--perhaps the longest and most unhelpful candy description ever, especially if you're not a Harry Potter fan. If you love butterscotch, the taste of these will be familiar...but I wasn't quite expecting the texture (as I ate them before reading the bag description). I expected them to be as solid as their standard chocolate Kisses are--almost as if they just enlarged one of those Nestle butterscotch chips. But, instead, I was pleasantly surprised by the smooth creamy filling. Despite what the description says, the taste appears to come from both the interior and the exterior.

I couldn't think of anything disparaging to say about these candies! Perhaps the only "criticism"...and it is a stretch to call it that...has to do with the foil design. They come in three colors: tan, featuring a beer mug, a cauldron and (I guess) torches; blue, featuring a beer mug, candles, stars and (I guess) an owl icon; and red, featuring a beer mug, stars and (I guess) bubbles. Would it really have been so difficult to use the symbols for the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone and the Invisibility Cloak? Geez! Talk about a missed opportunity! Not to mention when I first saw one of these outside the bag, the mug made me think it was beer flavored (like beer Jelly Bellies). Fortunately, the butterscotch smell is unmistakably strong...strong enough to permeate any container you keep them in, to be exact. A full-size butterbeer candy bar would likely be overwhelming, but these Kisses are perfect for a quick treat. 

RATING: 5 / 5

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SKINNY POP POPCORN

I wasn't quite sure what to make of these and I probably wouldn't have purchased them if it weren't for the 50% Sale rack at the back of the grocery store. Judging by the number of bags that were on that rack, I'm guessing they overestimated the demand for these by a factor of 10 or 20. Which also gave me pause...if they were good, they would be gone, right? But then I remembered my duty to you, dear readers, to boldly snack where no one...or at least, not many...have snacked before. 

The front of the bag promotes butterbeer-flavored kettle corn but the back of the bag states that it has a touch of "butterscotch" (Show me you're a Muggle without showing me you're a Muggle!). It also notes "brown butter and caramel" flavors. As a fan of butterscotch, buttery popcorn and caramel corn, all of that sounded good to me! And perhaps it might have been good had Skinny Pop actually gone with something that resembled caramel corn. But Skinny Pop doesn't make caramel corn--if it did, I suppose it would have to relinquish the name "Skinny." Instead, they make dusted popcorn and kettle corn. And this version tastes good as far as kettle corn goes, being slightly sweet, but it would be a stretch to describe the taste as butterscotch (or even caramel). If you really want butterbeer-flavored popcorn, your best bet is to melt a bag of the Hershey's Butterbeer Kisses over this. Hmm...that gives me an idea!

RATING: 3 / 5

HERSHEY CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH KISSES

Back in 2017, Hershey introduced its first new candy bar since the Cookies & Creme variety was released in 1995. The new bar was named Hershey Gold, and it contained no chocolate whatsoever but instead was a caramelized creme with peanuts and pretzels. It was delicious...one of the best junk foods I've ever reviewed...so, naturally, Hershey cancelled it in 2020. Had I known it was about to disappear, I would have stockpiled it in place of the water and canned meats in my earthquake survival kit.

While I am hoping we won't need to wait another twenty-two years before Hershey makes another attempt at a new candy bar, they at least seem to be going all out when it comes to their "Kisses" candies. In addition to seasonal varieties such as candy cane, cherry cordial and hot cocoa, I've seen pumpkin spice, strawberry ice cream cone and candy corn flavors (the latter having been discontinued about 14 years ago due to poor sales...imagine that!).

Their small size means that I rarely think of Hershey Kisses when looking for a chocolate fix, preferring something more substantial (like a Snickers). Or maybe I'm just too lazy to unwrap the minimum number of Kisses (20) needed to satisfy my snack craving. In fact, other than after finding them inside Easter eggs or Christmas stockings, I rarely eat them at all. With this new flavor, however, that may change...

I'm a big fan of cinnamon in general and Cinnamon Toast Crunch in particular (back when I ate cereal, that is). So I expected these to be right up my alley and they did not disappoint. Like Hershey Gold before them (which also came temporarily in a Kisses version), these new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Kisses are not chocolate at all but that same creme--except, instead of peanuts and pretzels, they contain what appear to be pieces of cereal. Not soggy cereal either, but pieces that provide a satisfying crunch. 

Thanks to the creme, the cinnamon flavor is more subdued that what you get from Hot Tamales,  cinnamon Red Hots candy or Big Red gum. Definitely not something that is too hot/spicy, but instead closer to a cinnamon roll. And all of this goodness is wrapped up in a red, green, purple and blue tinfoil that looks like something out of an Austin Powers movie--groovy! What's not to like? 

Well, actually, the one thing I didn't like was the smell. The open bag gave off the same sickly-sweet, pseudo-vanilla aroma you get from soaps, scratch-and-sniff stickers or air fresheners trying and failing to duplicate the smell of waffles. But unless you are a weirdo who needs to sniff your candy before eating it (or who writes a blog about the experience), you won't even notice. Instead, you'll find these Kisses to be sweet and satisfying...a great new flavor which I truly hope Hershey will consider releasing as a full-sized bar. Sure beats unwrapping 20 of these at a time... 

RATING:    5 / 5

RICE KRISPIES TREATS PEEPS

Of all the fads I've witnessed in snacks and candies over the years, we are currently in the middle of one of the most inexplicable trends...the attempt to make one junk food taste like another. I don't mean combining two disparate flavors, like adding potato chips to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or finding a new form factor for an existing snack, such as Twinkie's cereal or Twinkie's drumsticks ice cream. Those at least make sense to me.

I'm talking about partnerships between two nearly identically-flavored junk foods which are direct competitors for our taste buds (and wallets). Exhibit A: "Funyuns-flavored Lays Wavy Potato Chips." Funyuns, if you aren't aware, are an onion-flavored chip-like snack that come in bags stocked on the store shelves immediately adjacent to Lays. If you are in the mood for an onion-flavored chip, why wouldn't you just buy Sour Cream and Onion Lays, Ruffles or Pringles? If you prefer the corn-meal based Funyuns, these are readily available. Why would you instead choose a potato chip that is trying to imitate your preferred snack?  

Now, before I go on, let me just say that the person who first had the epiphany to coat Rice Krispies cereal in butter and marshmallows deserves an honored place in the pantheon of American (nay, World!) history...right behind the two people that got their chocolate in the other's peanut butter and right ahead of the discovery of penicillin. But that doesn't mean we need to cheapen the beauty of Rice Krispie Treats by partnering them with...shudder...Peeps.

This is either the most brilliant examples of brand synergy I have ever seen, or one of the laziest...akin to announcing Hershey chocolate-flavored M&Ms. Peeps, which are nothing but sugar-coated marshmallows, are typically colored fluorescent pink and yellow for Easter and often released in different flavors such as chocolate, strawberry, caramel apple and pickle (!). For Rice Krispies Treats Peeps, we basically have an uncolored and unflavored Peep. In other words, a marshmallow!

Does it taste any better or worse than a regular Peep? No. Does it taste like a Rice Krispies Treat? Minus the cereal and the butter, I suppose so. (They might as well release Rice Krispies Treat-flavored Jet-Puffed marshmallows while they are at it...) Is there any reason to choose this junk food if Rice Krispies Treats are still being produced? Or as long as we have access to cereal, butter and marshmallows? None at all.  

RATING:    3 / 5 

ORANGE CREAM POP TWIZZLERS

 

Before I get started, I want to apologize profusely for missing the boat on this one! When I  recently spotted them at the local Target, I wrongly assumed that they were a brand-new creation. 

Unbeknownst to me...and perhaps to you...this flavor was actually introduced back in 2017. I should have brought these to your attention back then but I completely missed them! (Sorry! Maybe I was too busy hoarding Hershey Gold?) Since then, the flavor has been re-released at least once (2019) and is now apparently a permanent addition to the Twizzlers line-up.

Oh, and one additional housekeeping note before I jump into the review: Can we please STOP calling Twizzlers and Red Vines red licorice candies or licorice-type candy? Yes, they share the same basic shape and consistency, but so do many other foods and snacks. (You wouldn't call a lime a "lemon-type fruit," would you? Well...perhaps you would...)

Even though Twizzlers (est. 1845) and Red Vines (est. 1914) began as licorice candies, the non-licorice flavors have long surpassed the originals in popularity. In fact, strawberry now accounts for 70% of all Twizzlers sold. And after the American Licorice Company's cherry-flavored candy underwent a formula change in 1950 it became so popular that the company rebranded itself as "Red Vines"...even though no one can say conclusively what a red vine actually tastes like. Whatever you call them, though, these candies consist of wheat flour, corn syrup, sugar, dyes and flavoring but not licorice root...except for the actual licorice versions!

But I digress...

Back in 2006, Twizzlers had the brilliant idea of filling the hollow center of their twists with some sort of viscous edible material. It's not frosting, more like the gooey center of a Pop Tart, but like laws and sausages it is probably best not to ask how they are made (or what the filling is made of). The initial "filled twists" flavors were citrus punch and cherry kick, both of which are still around today; later, Twizzlers added strawberry lemonade, key lime pie and this orange cream pop flavor.

The orange flavor is similar to that of a Starburst--it's artificial, to be sure, but not too tangy our sour on its own, even before it gets smoothed out by the taste of the "cream" filling. Speaking of which, I'm actually surprised they didn't spell it "creme" as Hostess does to avoid the implication that there is anything even vaguely milk-related about it. It is vanilla flavored, I suppose, but not too strong. Together, the two flavors to approximate the smell (if not the texture, nor exactly the taste) of an orange cream popsicle.

My verdict? I've gone back and forth on this so many times that I've decided to split the difference and give it a "3" to indicate that it is just average.

I must warn you, though...there appears to be some strange Jedi mind-trick voodoo going on with these candies! I purchased these Twizzlers expecting them to taste horrible. Imagine my surprise when I actually liked them! I then told my wife that they were good; she had one and thought they were horrible. Knowing that I liked them, however, I ate another one the following day...and it was horrible. Finally, after I told a friend that they were horrible, he had one and thought they were good. Can you see the pattern now?

The bottom line is that as long as you pre-set your expectations mentally you can game the system. Tell yourself that these are disgusting and you just might like them. But, God forbid, don't think you will like them...or you definitely won't!

RATING: 3 / 5 

 

 

   

CHOCOLATE FROSTED DONUT KIT KATS

Look...I'm sorry about posting two Kit Kat reviews, both 4/5, in a row. But at least this one is currently available in stores (unlike Lemon Crisp)!  Also, as a backstory, I only bought this one fully expecting to give it a low score to balance out the last Kit Kats I enjoyed and to prove I am not on Nestle's payroll. So, the fact that I liked it came as a big surprise to me as well!

I've said many times before that Kit Kats pale in comparison with their big, sturdy candy bar brethren that feature caramel, nougat and peanuts. If you're "hangry," you'll grab a Snickers bar so you can get right back into that touch football game. The people picking up a Kit Kat are more likely getting back to their quilting. If a Snickers is a Monster Truck, a Kit Kat is a Nissan Leaf. If a Snickers is a pint of Guinness, a Kit Kat is a cup of chamomile tea. If...well, you get the idea!

That is main reason why I think fruit flavors (which would never work with a Snickers, let alone a Twix) pair well with the Kit Kat wafers...at least if they are done well (unlike the Apple Pie monstrosity). And that is also why peanut butter, fudge, cinnamon, hazelnut and other "heavier" flavors don't do Kit Kats any favors. Until now, that is...

Now, the first question you might be asking yourself is: "What does chocolate frosted donut flavor taste like?" And, if your inner voice asks this question using Homer Simpson's voice, we are definitely on the same wavelength! Lately, it seems that candy confectioners have been throwing vanilla and/or maple flavoring into everything and calling it either a pancake or a donut. Not surprisingly, the resulting junk food tastes like neither! Blueberry pancake cereal? Tastes like artificial blueberries with a hint of maple. Strawberry donut cookies? Tastes like artificial strawberry with a hint of vanilla and maple. So that is what I was expecting with these.

Perhaps my appreciation was unfairly influenced by the fact that I had recently picked up Dunkin Donuts (for the first time, I might add--as a kid I was a Winchell's Donut fan through and through). So, to eliminate any potential "recency" bias, I ate another one a week later. The result was identical--this Kit Kat really does taste like a chocolate covered donut! A French Cruller, perhaps, rather than the glaze donut pictured on the label, but a donut all the same.

I honestly have no idea how they did it! Maybe it is as simple as keeping the chocolate coating only on the top half but switching to maple/vanilla coating on the bottom. Or maybe they altered the recipe of the barely-there creme? Or maybe the texture of the wafer (once you've started chewing it) tricks your brain into thinking you're eating a Cruller? 

I don't really know, and I suppose I don't really care how they are made. (And, yes, I like sausage, politics and hot dogs as well.) All I know is that I enjoyed these. They are sweeter than the standard Kit Kat...and sports-playing Snicker's afficionados aren't likely to stock these in the glove compartment of their 4x4s and time soon...but if you are a fan of a chocolate-covered donuts and Kit Kats, you may want to give them a try.

RATING: 4 / 5

 

LEMON CRISP KIT KATS

I mistakenly thought this was a permanent addition to the Kit Kat line-up when I purchased a few of these around Easter. Unfortunately, it looks as if they were a "holiday" release so you are unlikely to find them on store shelves...with the possible exception of the Dollar Tree-type retailers who will stock recently expired can goods and discontinued candy. 

(Which reminds me: The town I grew up in featured a "Hostess Thrift Store" adjacent to a supermarket where one could buy Twinkies, Ding Dongs and such on the cheap just because the expiration date on the packaging had passed...as if Twinkies don't last forever! But I digress...)

I still think we need some standardization when it comes to holiday junk food flavors.  Right now, we seem to have: 

• Halloween (an easy one, though often reviled): Pumpkin spice
• Christmas: Peppermint candy cane and eggnog
• Valentine's Day: Chocolate and strawberry are the forerunners
• St. Patrick's Day: The current favorite appears to be mint, if only for the color
• Easter: Well, this is where there isn't a clear flavor favorite...other than things which are colored yellow and pink (Hello Peeps and See's Candy jelly eggs!). Lemon fits the bill, and it is certainly better than cotton candy...or Peeps...so let's make it official!

But I digress again...

I am definitely a fan of fruit flavors in general and lemon in particular but I recognize that it isn't always easy to get right when it comes to junk food. The sour flavor of Lemonheads wouldn't work inside a cookie, for example, and companies that use artificial flavoring run the risk of making their snacks taste like Lemon Pledge furniture polish. To be honest, that is exactly what I was worried about in the case of these Kit Kats. I mean, the outside coating (usually chocolate flavored) is waxy enough.

To my surprise, the lemon flavor of these Kit Kats was definitely more on the subtle side. It was held back just enough--think lemon creme versus lemon. It didn't taste sour, nor did it taste artificial, and it was light enough to fit just perfect with the wafer cookie and barely-there creme on the inside without overwhelming the other tastes. 

As with the prior blueberry Kit Kats, I do hope that Nestle eventually decides to make Lemon Crisp available all year long...that way, you can find them in your Easter baskets, Halloween candy buckets and Christmas stockings! Just not on Valentine's Day...that would be weird. 

RATING: 4 / 5

  

 

CHURRO KIT KAT

I understand that Kit Kat aren't everyone's bag of tea, as they consist of a light wafer cookie covered with a very thin layer of chocolate. No peanuts. No caramel. No nougat. Not even coconut (for those of you weirdos who mange to keep Mounds and Almond Joy in business). Pretty unsubstantial. I mean, Twix is a cookie too, but look at how it has dressed itself up so nicely, Kit Kat is like the unappreciated younger sibling. And, until recently, we only had the single original flavor...despite the fact that our junk food brothers and sisters in Japans had flavors we could only dream of!

Fortunately, we've seen a number of interesting flavors come our way...blueberry being one of the most recent. I'm also a fan of key lime and orange--not when they dye the cookie orange or green colors for Halloween (which tastes exactly the same) but when they actually coat the wafer cookie with flavored coating. As with Oreo cookies, I prefer the flavored versions to the original.

As someone who has been known to eat three churros each and every day, during the course of a three-day trip to Disneyland/California Adventure...and who has memorized the churro cart locations in both parks...you would expect that these new Churro Kit Kats would be right up my alley. So did I. But, unfortunately, sometimes Kit Kats (like life) can be disappointing.

You see, I'm not sure where you get your churros, but the last thing that happens before the vendor wraps them up in wax paper and hands them to me is the requisite cinnamon sugar bath. When I take that first bite, I want to literally hear the sugar and cinnamon crystals sliding through the paper, out the other side, and cascading onto the street where a uniformed cast member stands ready to sweep up my mess. (Gotta love the efficiency of Disneyland street sweepers!)

Imagine my surprise, then, when I didn't see the word cinnamon used on the label. Or listed in the ingredients. Sadly, there is no cinnamon flavor here at all. What's left, then, tastes more like a type of sugar cookie. In fact, had you given me this Kit Kat without the wrapper, I would have been entirely unable to name the flavor. Maybe they just swapped labels with the birthday cake version from 2020?

Is it decent? Yes. Would I try it again? Probably. Does it taste anything like a churro? Sadly, no. 

RATING: 3/5

 

BLUEBERRY MUFFIN KIT KAT

It's not easy being a Kit Kat. You're definitely been stuck in the shadow of your overachieving Twix sibling for so long (Why are you so small? Why don't you contain caramel?). When the average person thinks about a candy bar incorporating a chocolate-covered cookie, they probably aren't thinking of the flimsy wafer and barely-there creme inside of a Kit Kat.

Don't believe me? Instead of passing out Snickers or Baby Ruth bars this Halloween, pass out packets of wafer cookies instead...just prepare for your house to get "egged"! Wafer cookies may go great with coffee or tea, but they certainly don't offer the sturdy sugar rush of other candy bars, including Twix.

And yet, Kit Kats have always had an advantage which Nestle is finally beginning to exploit--versatility!

Unlike a Twix, which is going to always have the caramel and cookie and can basically only tweak the coating (white chocolate, fudge) or add other flavors (peanut butter) inside, the Kit Kat's wafer, creme and thin chocolate coating are so insubstantial that they can allow for a myriad of changes. Seriously. These things are like chameleons...no wonder there are close to 400 Kit Kat flavors in Japan! We haven't been nearly as lucky here in the US, though, and occasionally get tricked when Nestle changes the color of the coating at holidays without changing the flavor. Fortunately, our luck is starting to improve and we are now seeing a  larger variety of Kit Kat flavors...though, so far, none appear to be permanent. 

That's not to say that Kit Kats can do no wrong--wasabi, baked potato, sweet corn and cheese (all real flavors, by the way) would never fly in this country. But fruit flavors? Those taste great with the light wafer and are something that a Twix bar will never be able to emulate. Nor should it.

The most recent fruit-flavored Kit Kat to appear here is blueberry muffin. Again, why not just "blueberry"? Or blueberry pie (like the Oreo cookie)? Or even blueberry cake? Why call something that crunches a muffin? And, personally, while I love to slather butter on my blueberry muffins I wouldn't want to think that taste is present in a candy bar.

But I digress..

Texture is important, of course...no one wants to feel like they are biting into a candle or potpourri...but my number one rule for fruit-flavored cookies, toaster pastries, cakes or candies is balance. And that is not easy to get right! Some candies have the barest perceptible hint of fruit, suggesting that the confectioners are worried that you'll hate the full flavor. ("You want the fruit? You can't handle the fruit!") Yet others err on the side of excess, hitting you smack in the nose with an intense smell before you even take a bite...which then assaults your tastebuds with an overpowering of artificial flavoring. (Strawberry, by the way, seems to be the fruit flavor that goes wrong most often.)

I'm happy to say that in this case Kit Kat got the balance just right! The aroma is light and not overwhelming. The taste appears to be spread evenly throughout the coating, wafer and creme filling. These taste like blueberry alright, but not like the artificial flavor of Boo Berry cereal. Don't be fooled by the purple-colored coating, which may suggest a too-sweet candy--these Kit Kats taste lighter, somehow, perhaps not even as strong as a blueberry pie but more like a...a...blueberry muffin. Hmmm...

It's too early to tell if these will catch on, but they were certainly the focus of a huge display when I visited Las Vegas this summer (attracting much more attention than I've seen given to other flavors). If blueberry isn't your thing, nothing I can say will convince you otherwise, but I am hoping that this Kit Kat flavor breaks through and becomes a mainstay. I loved them! 

RATING: 5/5 

 

 

     

REESE'S POTATO CHIPS BIG CUP

Back in the early days of microwaving popcorn before microwaves came with a "popcorn" button (yes, I am that old), I was often disappointed at the number of un-popped kernels left at the bottom of the bag. So, one day, I took it upon myself to throw the bag back into the microwave after it completed its first cycle. Unfortunately, during the second time through not only did the un-popped kernels remain un-popped but those kernels which had popped the first time now started burning. In mere seconds, the wonderful aroma of fresh popcorn was replaced by the acrid smell of smoke. The moral of that story? When you already have something that's good, you should leave it the hell alone!

Unfortunately, this is a lesson which Reese's has not learned... 

Now, admittedly, I do feel a little sorry for them because they hit it out of the park on their first attempt. On that fateful day when someone got their peanut butter on someone else's chocolate, and that other person got their chocolate in someone else's peanut butter, a very magical thing was created. We are all the better for it as life would not be the same without Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. So, where does one go from that zenith of success? Do you retire, knowing you'll never surpass the heavenly combination of peanut butter and chocolate? Or do you stupidly try to combine the flavor with something else?

Look, as great as peanut butter and chocolate are as a couple, I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of a threesome (although it is generally a better idea in theory than in practice). Peanut butter and chocolate dipped pretzels are wonderful, for example. Peanut butter, chocolate and caramel works (just ask Twix). Vanilla ice cream with peanut butter and chocolate? You had me at ice cream! Peanut butter, chocolate and actual peanuts? Fine. But...potato chips? Seriously?!?

No offense to any of you who might find that combination pleasurable...my wife, after all, drops Rollo candies into popcorn and she is on to something...but this is probably one of the worst things you can do to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. For shame! The only thing that saves this concoction from being awarded my lowest score is the fact that the actual potato chip pieces inside the peanut butter filling are so small that they don't provide much texture and add only a slightly salty flavor. In fact, I'm sure that the reason they were added only to the "Big Cup" is that in a regular-sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cup you probably wouldn't notice them at all. But that's not much of a compliment ("Don't worry! The thing we added as a gimmick is barely noticeable!") and it is also no excuse for ruining the already-perfect unity of chocolate and peanut butter.

RATING: 2 / 5

 

  

BIRTHDAY CAKE KIT KAT

                

The second of the three recent "Limited Edition" Kit Kats is the last one I plan on reviewing because, let's face it, between Apple Pie, Birthday Cake and Mint Chocolate, one of those flavors isn't very interesting.  And since I pride myself on daring to try things that most of you are (wisely) probably not going to bother with...such Swedish Fish Oreos and Thanksgiving Dinner Candy Corn...why waste space talking about a flavor we already know and love?

So...birthday cake.  For me, that's a flavor close behind pumpkin spice when it comes to irritating food trends of the past several years.  At least most people can get an idea of what pumpkin spice tastes like from the name alone, even though there is no such thing as pumpkin spice.  But before they started using "birthday cake" to describe a very sugary vanilla taste, it could have meant anything!  In fact, I'd guess that a lot of people's birthday cakes were chocolate.  Or marble.  Or strawberry.

Nowadays birthday cake just means vanilla.  A very sweet vanilla.  A very sweet, sugary vanilla with rainbow-colored sprinkles.  And there's nothing wrong with that flavor, even if I think the name is misplaced.

If you are used to the chocolate covered crisp wafers of a standard Kit Kat, this flavor (as with Applie Pie) will come as a big shock to the system.  But whereas Apple Pie tasted more like a scented candle, Birthday Cake Kit Kats taste much like another famous snack.  Does anyone remember circus cookies?  They were coated with a too-sweet pink and white frosting, with rainbow sprinkles, but still had a satisfying crunch underneath.  Now, the Kit Kat doesn't exactly have as much of a crunch as the circus cookies did, but the taste is remarkably similar.    

In the end, I'm going with an average score for this one.  It is far to sweet to enjoy, but a piece here or there (frozen, especially) might do the trick if you are a fan of vanilla...I mean, birthday cake...and/or circus cookies that won't turn your teeth and tongue pink.

RATING:        3 / 5

  

 

APPLE PIE KIT KAT

Of all the junk food I review, Kit Kat has the widest variety of flavors...yes, even more than Oreo or Pop Tarts.  Unfortunately, the vast majority of these varieties are never seen outside of Japan, so your only hope of trying one is to find them at World Market (or pester a co-worker to bring them back the next time he travels to Tokyo, as I used to do!).

So while the Japanese have their Green Tea, Edamame and Soy Sauce Kit Kats, Americans are stuck with milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate.  Fortunately, every now and then the powers that be at Nestle decide to throw us a bone and release a limited edition flavor on these shores.  None of them end up becoming permanent flavors, though, no matter how seemingly innocuous they might be...such as mint (dark chocolate), orange or strawberry (both white chocolate).  

I doubt that the limited edition Apple Pie Kit Kat is in any danger of becoming a permanent flavor here, however.  I do like the bright yellow wrapper (as opposed to the standard red), the apple scent and the very first bite...but that's where my likes end.

The Apple Pie flavor showed promise, because the heart of a Kit Kat is a crispy wafer which could at least potentially mimic the crust of a pie.  But it doesn't seem that the wafer tastes any different than usual--instead, the waxy white chocolate coating is the source of the flavor.  And while at least they didn't make the mistake of using milk or dark chocolate, the apple flavoring just doesn't go very well with white chocolate.  If eating the Dove White Chocolate Caramel Apple candy from last fall was akin to chewing on an apple-scented candle, eating this Apple Pie Kit Kat is akin to munching on potpourri...inside of apple-scented candle.

It seems to me that Nestle, as with a lot of manufacturers of irresponsible calorie junk foods, are only focused on the new flavor they plan to introduce...without ever considering if that flavor works well with the texture of the underlying product.  And that really does make a difference.  Licorice, for example, might be great as a stand-alone candy (or even an ice cream, in small doses), but would it work as an Oreo cookie?  Or as a Twinkie?  Not at all.  When the texture works, as with the apple pie Oreo cookie, the artificial flavor gets more of a free pass.  When it doesn't, as with this Kit Kat, it only draws more attention to how artificial the flavor really is. 

RATING:   2 / 5

FALL 2019 ROUND-UP

(Before I can get to the new Christmas/Winter treats, I need to clear out a backlog of unreviewed snacks from October and November...)

Fall is quickly surpassing Winter as the season that confectioners and makers of "irresponsible calorie" foods are more likely to introduce new creations in an attempt to capitalize on holiday spirit and/or reckless disregard for taste.  And, as has been the case for many years, pumpkin spice is usually the top culprit, followed closely by apple.  Both of these flavors can be pleasant...or both can go very wrong!

DOVE WHITE CHOCOLATE CARAMEL APPLE

As a married man, I can admit to having entered the Bath & Body Works retailer on more than a few occasions looking for replacement kitchen and bath soaps or candles.  Upon entering , my nose is immediately assaulted with a wide variety of scents which are not normally found together in nature.  Thankfully, after a few minutes, my nose shuts itself off in an act of self-preservation (although remaining in low power mode long enough to sniff out the least offensive blends when my wife asks me what I can stand to live with.)

In all my years of sniffing candles and soap, and even potpourri and air fresheners, I never once wondered what it would be like to eat one.  Well, thanks to Dove, now I know!

I do like white chocolate (although I prefer Dove's dark chocolate).  And I also like caramel, apples, and caramel apples.  I even like graham crackers.  On paper, combining these tastes doesn't sound like a bad idea.  Unfortunately, this idea made it off the paper and into manufacturing.  (If Dove has any product testers, they ought to all be fired over this concoction!)

If the overpowering apple smell doesn't immediately scare you away, as soon as you put one of these pieces in your mouth, the odd texture and awful taste will leave you gagging.  Avoid at all costs unless you want to use them as punishment for your kids when you threaten to "wash their mouths out with soap."  They'll probably prefer the soap...

RATING:   1 / 5    

MAPLE CREME OREO

These cookies are really a no-brainer, even if you don't come from the Great White North.

I have had better, though...usually in the form of maple-leaf shaped cookies that you can find under a generic grocery store label.  The store cookie itself is usually more tasty and substantial than the Golden Oreo in this version.  Still, the Golden Oreo cookie tastes good with the maple creme, which itself is not overpowering or too sweet.  Considering that Nabisco might have gone with the standard chocolate Oreo cookie or the graham Oreo cookie, I suppose we should count our blessings.

If you aren't a fan of maple cookies, or maple in general, this Oreo isn't going to change your mind.  But if you are looking for a fun fall flavor, this fits the bill.

RATING:  4 / 5

FROSTED PUMPKIN PIE POP TARTS

I really should have known better...

Of all the junk foods that I regularly sample for this blog, the Pop Tarts seem to be more miss than hit.  Sure, Oreo will come out with an abomination like the Swedish Fish, but then they'll give us Apple Pie or Cookie Butter.  I'm not sure if it is because Pop Tarts are all enclosed in the same "crust" or if they are limited due to the thin layer of filling, but I've definitely eaten more than my share of disgusting flavors.

I was initially impressed that they didn't call this Pop Tart a "Pumpkin Spice" flavor (as Hostess and Oreo always do with their snacks), because as you've heard me complain in the past, there's no such thing!  "Pumpkin" spice consists of ground cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves (and perhaps allspice).  There's no pumpkin or other squash involved! 

When I tried the first one of these Pop Tarts, I thought I tasted cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves.  Sure enough, all of these were listed ingredients!  (Far, far behind sugar and fructose corn syrup but still...).  Sadly, that wore off quickly.  The more I ate, the less it tasted like "pumpkin spice" and the more it tasked like pumpkin.  Or squash.  The fact that the filling is the color and texture of the baby food I used to feed my kids didn't do it any favors. 

Warming them up definitely improved the taste, but no matter how many I tried, they always started off pretty good but ended up disappointing.  (Sort of like my high school dances...)  If only the "spice" part had managed to hold its own and not be overcome by the "pumpkin" part, I might have even liked them.   

RATING:  3 (briefly) but then 2 / 5

HERSHEY GOLD KISSES

One of my favorite discoveries since starting this "junk food" blog a few years ago has been the Hershey Gold candy bar.  It isn't often that Hershey releases a full-sized bar under the Hershey name, and this was the first to not contain any chocolate at all. 

If you missed my review and haven't tried this candy yet, a Hershey Gold is a caramelized "creme" bar containing tiny bits of pretzels and peanuts.  Even though it took me a while to come around to the "salty and sweet" combination that arose over the past decade or so ("sea salt and caramel" in chocolate was not an option when I was a kid), I loved Hershey Gold immediately.  I was extremely relieved to learn that, unlike the last odd "gold" junk food I liked (7-Up Gold...look it up!), this one has lasted more than a few months and has clearly made it past the introductory stage.  So, apparently I, and my former office mates, are not the only ones eating them.

I must therefore apologize for being remiss in not reviewing the "Kisses" version of the candy when I first heard it had been released.  To be honest, I wasn't planning to write about them at all, figuring that (as with all the other "Kisses"), they were just smaller, "drop" versions of the same Hershey Gold candy bars I knew and loved.  But, unfortunately, I was wrong! (cue sinister music.)

The first clue I had that something was amiss came when I opened the bag and got a whiff of the smell of caramel popcorn.  Well, perhaps not quite caramel popcorn, but definitely a strong caramel smell, and certainly sweeter than the smell you would get from simply melting down Kraft caramel squares before dripping them onto an apple.

(Since I specifically called out the "first" clue, you are probably expecting a "second" clue.  But, to be honest, there wasn't really a second clue.  I just put one in my mouth and realized that it wasn't the same.  I suppose if I had read the bag more carefully, that could have been the second clue, but then again, it would have been more of the solution than a "clue."  If you can see the bag in the picture, you'll notice it says only "pretzel bites."  Yes, that's right, one essential ingredient was left out--the peanut bits!)

I'm not sure why Hershey omitted the peanuts.  Perhaps they couldn't get a consistent "drop" shape with both pretzel and peanut chunks in the mix?  But I definitely think using the Hershey Gold name in this case is misleading.  Hershey Gold bars have three ingredients--peanuts, pretzels, and caramelized creme.   The kisses have only two of these ingredients!  You wouldn't call chocolate and vanilla ice cream "Neapolitan" would you?  Would you?!?

In the end, I decided not to deduct a point from the review score to account for Hershey's treachery, although I was sorely tempted.  The candy is sweet and salty, but definitely more sweet than salty, and not what I was hoping for.  But it is a good candy, and a welcome variant of the kisses which are chocolate-based.  If you like them, you will probably like the full bar a little better.

RATING:    4 / 5 

NEAPOLITAN M&M's

Straight from a limited release only in Australia, Neapolitan M&M's have now appeared exclusively at Target Stores.

A quick history lesson: Neapolitan ice cream is, in fact, named after Naples, Italy, where it was thought to have originated.  Historically, the colors were green (pistachio), white (vanilla) and red (cherry) to match the colors of the Italian flag.  A variation of spumoni, the dessert was changed upon its introduction in American in the late 1800's to represent more common ice cream flavors--chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.  Interestingly enough, almost every picture I found shows vanilla in the middle, as if a referee trying to intercede in a fight between two stronger flavor boxers.

As I opened the bag, I was greeted with a sickeningly sweet smell that can only be described as the floor of a Baskin-Robbins 31 Flavors.  I did appreciate the fact that the candies came in three colors...pink, white, and brown...but my appreciation quickly faded when I realized that the colors did not have any bearing on the flavor.  No, instead, each candy piece contains all three flavors regardless of the color of the shell.

The packaging is misleading in this regard, as it shows a cutaway view of a pink-shelled candy that has a brown layer and a white center.  But guess what?  That's also what the center of the white and brown-shelled candies look like!  The white does not have brown and pink inside, and neither does the brown have pink and white inside.  Which causes me to wonder...where does the strawberry taste come from?  The shells appear to be flavorless, so I am guessing the strawberry is part of the white center.  It is quite the puzzle and deserves to be studied by scientists.  It does not, however, deserve to be eaten.

The best part of Neapolitan ice cream, assuming you serve yourself, is that you can decide the appropriate ratio of the three flavors (which, for me, would be lighter on the chocolate and heavier on the strawberry, with ample vanilla).  Here, you get all three in a mix of natural and artificial flavors that will stay with you a long time...no matter how many times you rinse with a glass of water.

Neapolitan M&M's are not the worst idea they've ever had (that would be candy corn M&M's...yuck!).  I think the idea might have worked if M&M had released a bag of strawberry, chocolate and vanilla M&M's which consumers could have mixed and matched to their liking.  But, unfortunately, that's not the case here.  These taste more like the melted blend at the bottom of the ice cream bowl...if that melted blend was devoid of any dairy products or natural flavors, that is!   

RATING: 2 / 5   

RED VELVET KIT KAT

Kit Kats are the most popular candy treats in Japan...apparently because the name approximates "kitto katsu," which is an expression meaning "good luck."  Maybe that is why you'll find more varieties of Kit Kat candy in Japan than anywhere else, including flavors such as baked potato, soy bean, brandy and orange, pumpkin, and apple vinegar.

Kit Kats are not quite as popular in the US.  Our #1 candy is the Reese's Peanut Butter cup, which approximates "pinattsubatakappu" in Japan, which is an expression meaning "your chocolate is in my peanut butter!"  (I'm guessing, here)  Perhaps that is why we rarely see so many unusual flavors on our shores.  Now, I'm not asking for any bean or tea Kit Kats to make a US debut any time soon, but what about something more ordinary, such as maple or pineapple?  Instead, we've been stuck with chocolate, dark chocolate and white chocolate...with only an occasional limited-time variant such as strawberry or orange.

I was therefore surprised to see this new Red Velvet flavor, which appears to only be found in the miniatures and not the full-sized bars.  Upon first glance, however, there is nothing "red velvet" about it.  Certainly there is no red coloring, and the texture is that of a regular Kit Kat wafer covered with chocolate--nothing cake like at all.  Now, as a red velvet cake is nothing more than chocolate cake colored with red food coloring and topped with a cream cheese frosting, and as a regular Kit Kat is already chocolate flavored, did they really need this?

I asked for help on this one from two people: Jake, my co-worker and junk food padawan, and my father--one of the few people I know who will actually take a bite of something after I say "Eww!  This tastes awful!  Try this!"  Neither Jake nor my Dad were able to identify the supposed flavor of this Kit Kat from smell or sight alone.  Both agreed that it had a definite strong sweet smell, but thought it tasted more along the lines of a birthday cake.  When I revealed that it was supposed to be Red Velvet, both thought they might sense a faint cream cheese flavor...as I thought I did...but it is hard to say if that flavor is actually there, or our brains are just fooling us after we already know what it is supposed to be.  (Sort of like reading the answer on the back of the Trivial Pursuit card before claiming that was what you were going to say.)

So, here you have a sweet-smelling, vanilla birthday cake-tasting Kit Kat bar that may or may not slightly remind you of cream cheese.  While it tastes fine, it certainly didn't taste like a Red Velvet cake to any of us.  If you are buying it based solely on that premise, you might be disappointed.  If, on the other hand, you are buying it because you want to try weird new Kit Kat flavors, you might be better off exporting one of the 200+ varieties only sold in Japan.

RATING:    3 / 5  

HERSHEY'S GOLD

So, it has come to this.  Hershey's, a company synonymous with chocolate, has released its first non-chocolate Hershey-namesake candy bar...and it is fabulous!

In a time when it seems that Oreo releases a special edition every third Tuesday, Hershey's has only released three bars with the Hershey name in the title over the past 117 years.  After the original milk chocolate bar debuted in 1900, consumers had to wait until 1939 for the "Special Dark" variety.  They waited even longer--until 1995--before the third bar, Cookies & Creme, came around.  As it no longer contains cocoa butter, the company no longer claims that the Cookies & Creme bar is made of white chocolate.  With the new Gold bar, however, there is no chocolate to be found at all.

So, then, what the heck is this bar made of?  The wrapper says "caramelized creme," which is just a fancy way of saying that they've browned the non-dairy ("creme" not "cream") sugar concoction.  To that, they've added bits of pretzels and peanuts to give it crunch and saltiness.  And, by goodness, it works!  The bar tastes every bit as creamy as a white chocolate bar does, and there is a perfect mixture of peanuts and pretzels that don't overwhelm the caramelized creme.  I'm a fan of the salty Pay Day nut and caramel bar, but it can be a mess with large peanuts falling out...not to mention difficult to chew due to the thick caramel.  Mr. Goodbar is fine, but you often end up going through a lot of chocolate before coming across a lone peanut.  And while I love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, every now and then I would like something creamier to balance out the peanut butter or something crunchy that isn't more peanut pieces.  Hershey's Gold fits the bill on every level.  It's the candy bar I never knew I needed!

The last time I enjoyed a non-standard, big-name, gold-colored product was in 1988, when 7-Up released "7-Up Gold"--a caramel-colored caffeinated cinnamon-spice soda.  It was nothing like the regular clear, lemon-lime, non-caffeinated 7-Up drink, and I loved it.  I must have been the only one, as it vanished from store shelves shortly after introduction.  I wish I had stocked up before it went away, so this time I've learned my lesson and will be stockpiling Hershey's Gold until I am certain that the company plans to keep it on the market.

The only complaint I have is that Hershey's has tweaked the design of the bar so that the rectangles are not all the same size and not all facing the same direction (there are two slightly smaller, vertical pieces above or below each slightly larger horizontal piece).  I guess they were trying to be "edgy" or something, but they've only succeeded in making it harder for people to break off a uniform piece.  This is a minor quibble, however, and one that can be easily fixed...provided that the bar stays on the market long enough.  So what are you waiting for?  Go buy one!

RATING:  5 / 5 

PANCAKES & MAPLE SYRUP JELLY BELLIES

"Maple" is rapidly approaching "pumpkin spice" on my list of most-hated flavors.  Not because I hate maple (or pumpkin spice for that matter).  My issue with pumpkin spice...beyond the fact that there is nothing pumpkin about it...is that it has become the go-to Fall flavor for almost every product under the sun.  And while some of these products are tasty and appropriate, many are not.  Seriously--do we really need a pumpkin spice English muffin or pumpkin spice Mini-Wheats cereal?

In the same tradition, I'm now seeing numerous maple-flavored junk food such as candy corn, cereal, Pop Tarts and now jelly beans.  Note, however, that none of them are content with just naming themselves "maple" and calling it a day.  Instead, they use much more interesting names such as French Toast, bacon and pancakes.  Which would be fine if the products actually tasted like French Toast, bacon and pancakes.  They don't.

Now, I'm not a confectioner, so I don't know how to recreate the flavors of breakfast foods using sugar, high fructose corn syrup and a handful of artificial flavors.  But I can tell you how these companies have decided to do it: with smoke flavor.

That may make sense when it comes to bacon, but pancakes?  Apart from the testers, which I always throw away, I don't think I've ever made pancakes that taste smokey.  And "burnt pancakes" is probably not a good name for a commercial product anyway.

So, yes, these Jelly Bellies taste like maple...with a little smokey flavor.  Come to think of it, it tastes slightly like their coffee jelly bean.  I know that the Jelly Belly people have already recreated the flavor of butter (in their "buttered popcorn" jelly beans), so I'm not sure why they didn't use that instead.  Maple and butter, while still not tasting like a pancake, would at least taste better than maple and smoke/coffee.  And before you are tempted to buy a bag of buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies and combine the two, let me warn you: don't bother.  That doesn't taste quite right either, unless you are a person who drizzles maple syrup on your popcorn.

If you like the flavor of maple, stick with those maple leaf creme cookies.  If you absolutely positively must eat a maple jelly bean, these will do the trick...but they no more taste like pancakes than a ketchup jelly bean would taste like a hot dog.

RATING:  3/5
 
 

HERSHEY'S CARAMEL APPLE

I've never sat in an R&D meeting at Nabisco, Hershey, M&M/Mars or Hostess, but in my head I imagine it would play out like the lab scene in Jurassic Park.  Junk food scientists would proudly show off their latest abominations, and my character (played by Jeff Goldblum) would shout: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should!"  

Well, here is yet another item to add to the "They can, but shouldn't have" list: caramel apple filled Hershey milk chocolates.

As someone who grew up with one single flavor of Hershey kisses, I appreciate all the new varieties which have sprung up over the years.  Not even counting limited editions (such as pumpkin spice and candy cane), you've got almond, caramel, mint truffle, cherry cordial, and cookies and creme year round!  Kids today sure are spoiled!

Which brings me to the first mistake.  This is not actually a Hershey Kiss, but a "fun apple shape" (what would a non-fun apple shape look like?).  It isn't as cute as the traditional teardrop shape, and calls to mind cheap Easter or Halloween candies rather than the Kisses we all know and love.

The second mistake is more fundamental.  Hershey must have assumed that, as caramel-covered apples taste good, and caramel-filled chocolates taste good, caramel apple-filled chocolates must also taste good.  But they don't.  The apple flavor doesn't blend well with the milk chocolate, and the caramel isn't strong enough to overcome it.  This "ménage à trois" of flavors might have seemed like a good idea on paper...or under the influence of alcohol...but Hershey's will likely regret the decision in the morning.  The three flavors are definitely a crowd, with apple being the "third wheel" that should have been left out.

RATING:   2  /  5 

BRACH'S APPLE MIX CANDY CORN

To bring you yet another review of irresponsible calories, I had to first overcome the revulsion caused by post-ingesting stress disorder from the last time I ate Brach's "brunch favorites" candy corn.  In fact, when I'm lying awake in my bed in the silent dead of night, sometimes I think I can still taste them.

I must start by once again voicing my strong objection to flavored candy corn.  Candy corn is itself a flavor, people!  Hasn't that already been proven by Nabisco making a candy corn flavored Oreo cookie?  Maybe I'm getting cranky in my old age, but there was a time when we had candy corn and licorice and cotton candy and cinnamon and vodka...and we didn't feel the need to add flavors to what were already flavors!  Well, except for vodka I guess...flavored vodka is cool.

The good news, if there can be good news when reviewing a sugary confection that is definitely not good for you, is that this latest batch of flavored candy corn actually tastes much like the flavors being promised.  For the most part.

Thankfully, rather than trying to recreate the flavors of French Toast and Maple Syrup, Waffles and Strawberry, and Chocolate Chip and Pancakes...wait a second, I'm having a flashback panic attack again.  [...]  Okay, where were we?  Oh, yes...this time Brach's has decided to imitate the flavor of Green Apple, Apple Pie, and Caramel Apple.  And the colors they have chosen, while still not found in nature, are considerably more festive than their brunch favorites.  There's a white one with a green bottom, a red one with a brown bottom, and a tan one with a white bottom (insert Coppertone ad joke here).  

For those astute readers who noticed that I wrote "for the most part" up above, one of these flavors fails while the other two succeed.  Any guesses?  Once again, it is the caramel that lets us down.  Perhaps there should be a ban on imitation caramel flavor until scientists get it right.  Maybe they should stop their cancer research and take care of this important business first.  In any case, the Green Apple tastes like sour apple candy  and the Apple Pie tastes inexplicably like an apple pie.  In fact, it tastes so much like an apple pie that it scares me.  I have no idea how they managed to do it.  But then along comes the Caramel Apple (the red one with a brown bottom) and the feelings of revulsion return.
  
I'd like to tell you not to eat these, so that Brach's gives up and sticks to candy corn-flavored candy corn...as God intended...but I have to be honest and let you know that two out of three of these flavors are not bad.   

RATING:  3/5