Continuing the ill-advised trend of making Oreos taste like some type of candy...if not actually using said candy inside the filling or as part of the cookie itself...I present to you the latest: Sour Patch Kids Oreos.
This calls to mind a question that I have frequently asked my dogs (and perhaps also my kids before their frontal lobes developed): "Have you learned nothing?"
Nabisco's track record isn't exactly impressive. I've gone on record as saying that Swedish Fish Oreos weren't just the worst Oreos ever, but one of the most disgusting things I have ever eaten...and I'm pretty sure I swallowed a worm as a child and a goldfish as a college student. Peeps Oreos were average at best, which is probably better than most people expected. So I wasn't about to get my hope up here...
Since my wife often tells me that I need to soften the harshness of my criticism by first mentioning something positive before hammering on the negatives, I will say just this: Using the golden cookie instead of the chocolate (or the graham) was a good idea. So, maybe they did learn something from the Swedish Fish Oreo after all?
That's pretty much the only nice thing I can say about this abomination of a cookie. At least with people, you can say they have a nice personality. Or that they are punctual. But with Oreos? Uh...umm...I like your round, circular shape? (Don't use that one on people, by the way, trust me!)
The whiff of artificial sour fruit you get when opening the package should alert you to the fact that you just made a big mistake. But, go ahead. Convince yourself that they cannot possibly taste as bad as they smell and eat one. (Just be sure to have a glass of water nearby...you're welcome!)
I'm not even going to discuss what "colorful inclusions" means or what "Sour Patch Kids flavored" actually refers to. Is it watermelon? Strawberry? Peach? Grape? (All of the above?) Suffice it to say that the sweet and sour fruit flavor is in no way suited for use in either the cookie or the creme.
I'm just trying to figure out one thing (other than why I bothered to try these): Did Nabisco first reach out to Mondelez with the idea of licensing the Sour Patch Kids? Or did the Nabisco scientists stumble across this horrible flavor by accident and then, seeking to recoup their R&D losses, decided to partner with a candy company desperate for publicity?
(Fun Fact: Sour Patch Kids were originally developed under the name "Mars Men" and are known as "Very Bad Kids" in France. Which means at least the French can keep the "Very Bad" part of the name for these cookies...)
RATING: 1 / 5
